Sunday, 24 November 2013

Guilt of a Skype mom

Now I am slogging through the long stretch from the visit to home in November to leaving for some work and Christmas in England just before mid-December. The weekend that would comfortably be spent at home in England will be spent in Finland instead – partly to go to the Finnish Archaeologist Days, but also to visit my brother and mother. Not to mention my old friends. This time the time I will spend with my mother – first time in more than 18 months – will be away from Number One Son. It is harsh when one has to prioritise.

This visit coincides with the first time Number One Son is truly missing me. He is jumping out of joy when my face appears on the tablet and he is kissing the screen. He is also asking ‘where Mummy is’. It is sweet, but it is also breaking my heart. Things are not helped by the fact that Archaeologist Husband looks tired. Luckily, he has now contracts and work coming in, so at least him staying back in England has paid dividend. In addition, one can detect a slight improvement in Number One Son’s speech. He is asking questions and conversing.

However, this time around I am not so stupid that I will try to subdue my guilt by buying stuff. No, I will buy some Christmas presents from Finland in order to complement the very Swedish ones I have purchased already. Then there will be a lot of peaceful family time over Christmas. Even if I will be just sitting in the background when he is tapping the tablet, I will still be at home and be a presence. Until the mid-January.

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